Other People's Kids!!

Here's the story. We were having dinner at Dairy Queen on their fenced in patio, when two little boys, twins about 4 or 5, burst out of the door. They proceeded to leave the fenced in area and run around like chickens with their heads cut off. Their mother soon followed and was calmly telling them to come back. They answered her with a "NO" and proceeded to climb over the fence, onto a table occupied by two women having a conversation, child free. The mother responded by calmly asking them to stop doing that and come to her.

Does anyone else see a problem with this situation? I was so appalled, I briefly considered beating my own children so they didn't get any ideas that this type of behavior was acceptable. Apparently, this mother thought young children have a right to misbehave, not listen and tell their mother "NO". Where was her urgency to control the situation? Why was she not upset? Has society become so lackadaisical that we can't have control over our children and bad parenting is acceptable? This was not a case of children just being children. This was a case of bad parenting. When do you ask a child to listen to you? You don't and you shouldn't have to. You are the parent, you are the authoritarian, you are the boss, and you make the rules.

To make this story worse, the mother just shrugged. Really?!? You allowed your children to disrupt 5 different groups of people, allowed them to be rewarded with an ice cream treat, allowed them to put themselves in danger by running by a busy street when they left the gated area and all you do is shrug?

Because of this situation, I think I am now in favor of strangers disciplining children when their parents have obviously failed miserably. We've heard people talk about "white people not beating their kids" and now I know why.

All I Needed Was 5 Minutes

This week, Kylen and I are on our own. Zachary is visiting relatives and Dustin is out bringing home the bacon. However, the world does not strictly revolve around Kylen and I needed to take care of some business...on the phone. Now I can pay bills, send emails, write thank yous and make cookies all while World War III is happening in my very own living room, but talking on the phone is a whole other ball game.

Previous experience has taught me that no matter how many times you say that you are going to be making a very IMPORTANT phone call and need the boys on their best behavior with no fighting, arguing, yelling, hitting and most importantly NO INTERRUPTING, it doesn't fail that all of the above will happen within the first 30 seconds of the said important phone call. I have also learned that bribery doesn't work either and because Zachary is gone I don't dare send Kylen outside by himself for fear that he may try and make a break for it.

So today, I decided to be 3 steps ahead of the game. I told Kylen that he needed to take a shower before we left and didn't even mention that I was going to be on the phone. We started the shower, got his special soap out (I figured an empty bottle of body wash was worth the five minutes of quiet) and he embarked on his shower time. Now my boys will spend hours in the tub or shower so I really thought I had a fool proof plan.

Oh, how wrong I was. While I was making my important phone calls interruption free, Kylen had managed to get the shower head down and was turning our bathroom into a water park. That's right shower curtain open with a rain storm pouring down my walls onto the floor. By the time, I finished my first phone call the entire bathroom floor had an inch of standing water on it.

As Kylen sat in time out while I mopped up the bathroom, I realized how much I miss nap times. I think all future important phone calls will have to wait until they both leave to go to school, this is the best option for both my sanity and their safety.

The Truth Behind Caffeinated Beverages and Children

If you are like myself and most other parents I know or can on some level relate to, you are fueled by caffeinated beverages. I myself am a Diet Coke whore, I dream of the day that one can intravenously drip that nectar from the gods straight into my veins but for now I prefer it from a 12 ounce can. You might prefer, coffee, Red bull, Mountain Dew, etc., but whatever your poison I'm sure your children have a weird obsession with your caffeinated beverage of choice similar to Eve's obsession with the forbidden fruit. My boys are no different. They will do anything in their power to have that sweet nectar touch their lips, however, being the sensible parent that I am, I do everything in my power to prevent this from happening. Just the thought of two kids bouncing off the walls from their bout with caffeine is enough to make we want to pull my hair out but even I have my own Achilles heel. The vehicle, mini-van, cougar cruiser, silver bullet, whatever it is that you transport your children around in, that my friends is my weakness. The only thing worse than have children bounce off the walls from caffeine induced high, is listening to them fight, scream, complain, argue, talk incessantly while continuously getting louder to make sure they are the one child being heard, in the cougar cruiser. While in this state of transport, I am likely to say yes to anything and today I did. While out running errands, we stopped and got a snack, although they did not have Diet Coke, they did have Diet Mountain Dew, and I bought myself a filled to the brim vat of that not as good as Diet Coke nectar. That is when Kylen launched his sneak attack and asked if he could just have a sip. Under the duress of being in the cougar cruiser with the boys and running errands and listening to them argue and complain, I obliged. Foolishness. You would think by this stage in the game I would be better prepared to fend off this attack but I was not. I handed over my vat of Diet Mountain Dew and watch in horror through the rear view mirror as he guzzled as much of that sweet nectar down as fast as he could. Now I know what you are thinking, take it away, but it wasn't that simple. He had positioned his little self just out of reach of my grasp. I tried asking politely, I demanded, I even threatened but he still just sat their guzzling just a hair out of my reach. I even tried reasoning with him,"Kylen, why don't you want to give mommy back her soda, you wouldn't like it if I took something away from you." To which Zachary responded,"Mom, he knows that it's his one chance, that if he gives it back, he won't get any more sips so he has to drink as much as can as fast as he can." It now had my full blown attention, I had just been duped by a 4 year old. My children are much more tactically skilled than myself, I will admit, but I still get to make the rules. In the end, Kylen returned by soda for fear of having to take a nap and I got to leave bouncing off the walls, 4 year old, with Dustin while I went to work. I guess it worked out to be a draw for the two of us this time but I will be much better prepared next time.

Matinee Movies

I don't know if you all realize this, but many movie theaters offer morning showings of children's movies during the summer at a discount price. Thanks to Nancy and American Family, we were given numerous free passes which made it seem like an even better idea to attend these movies. However, seeing that I have a child who refuses to watch television, movies, video games, or anything else that might occupy one's attention for more than two minutes, I have never bothered bringing both of my boys to a movie theater, but seeing that it was free, I decided to give it a try and much to my surprise it was AWESOME. Although, I do think it was awesome for entirely different reasons than one would expect.

The Top Ten Reasons Why Morning Children's Movie Showings are Awesome:

10. They offer $2 specials on popcorn and pop. Let's face it nobody wants to go broke buying their children treats that are going to eventually end up all over the floor, accidentally, of course.
9. Every stay at home mom on the north side of town was is in attendance with their children. It's always good to do a comparison check every six months or so to make sure you're still in the realm of normalcy.
8. You don't mind getting up to take one or both of your children to the restroom 10 times because honestly, you don't really care if you see the movie or not.
7. It's air conditioned. Need I say more when it's 100 degrees outside.
6. You can seat hop, because everybody else is doing it.
5. It does not matter that your children talk through the entire movie because all of the other children are doing it, too and you're just happy that it's 90 minutes of hands off, worry free time.
4. No matter how big of a mess your child made with the $2 popcorn, don't worry some other child made a bigger mess and made your kids look angelic.
3. It's free. At least it was for us.
2. You hope this will inspire your child (you know the one that doesn't watch television or maybe it's just my kid who doesn't watch T.V.) to take the initiative and watch a movie at home.

And the Number 1 reason these movies are awesome:
If you start to tear up during these animated films because you are over sensitive, don't worry you are not alone and your husband can not make fun of you, at least 15 other moms were wiping their tears right along side of you.