Why do all liquor stores hand out suckers to children? I try to avoid taking my children to a liquor store due to my effort to create morally righteous, good decision makers and my effort to not come across as a total degenerate, alchy mother, who covers her tracks by bribing her children with a Dum Dum. However, my children have, on occasion, been to the liquor store (or as my 4 year old refers to it as the "wine store") and much to their glee and enjoyment have always received a Dum Dum upon leaving. Now it's not that I'm against my children having a sugary treat, it's more that I'm against the label.
You all know the label I'm talking about. You see that little toe-headed boy walking around with that white stick hanging out of his mouth, with drool and sugary gooieness dripping all around his mouth, shirt and fingers, and you know that his parent just finished shopping at the liquor store. You're mind starts wandering. You think to yourself, "Hmm, I wonder what they just bought?" and before you know it you've turned an innocent shopping trip with a parent and a child into a case that should immediately be seen by Child Protective Services.
As a result of this and my paranoia, I think there should be a ban on liquor stores giving out Dum Dums. As I've said before, I'm not against them giving my children a treat, after all I'm buying a treat for myself, I just think the treat should be chosen more carefully, such as a tic-tac, piece of gum, or a bit-o-honey.
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